BAD JOKES!

Two eggs are in a saucepan.

First egg says 'Its absolutely boiling in here!'

Second egg says 'Thats nothing, I heard when they take us out they smash our heads in with a giant spoon!'


Two men are in a bar. One of them has a dog which is busy cleaning itself.

The other guy says 'That must be amazing! I wish I could do that.'

The dogs owner says 'Give him a biscuit and he might let you.'

Good title.

q: what's brown & sticky?
a: a stick

q: what's blue & white & flies through the jungle?
a: a fridge in a denim jacket

bad jokes are fun.

Anyone know where Engagement Ohio is?

Inbetween Dayton and Marion!!




Two guys walk into a bar, the third ducked!!

Sheila didn't come home one night. When Bruce asked her where she'd been she said she spent the night at a girl friend's house. Bruce was a bit suspicious she'd been up to no good so rang her ten closest friends, but none of them had seen her.

Next week Bruce didn't come home one night. Sheila asks him where the hell he'd been. Bruce says he got a bit drunk at a mate's place and thought it was safer not to drive and crash out there. Sheila thinks he's been up to no good so rings his ten best mates. Eight of them say he spent the night at their place and two claim he's still there in the shower.

What's this ?

A dead one of these!! Ha Ha...

(I know you can't see the hand movements but you'll just have to trust me that it's funny).

Q: What's yellow and smells of bananas?




A: Monkey vomit.

What's the difference between tequilla and a sawn off shotgun?








If you dont know then I am never asking you for a shot of tequilla

haha I love bad jokes, they make me laugh more than good ones

Q. What goes "oooooooo.....ooooooooooooooooooooo"










A. A cow with no lips

A guy goes to his best friend.
"Dude, How do you do it? How do you go home with all these hot chicks every night, and I get stuck home alone?"
Freind says, "Ok... I'll tell ya my secret... Next time you go out, put on your tightest pants, and stick a sock in 'em. Chicks'll follow you home like a starving kitten."

Next week the guy sees his friend again, "Dude!! What the Hell!!! I did exactly as you said, and now girls just run away from me before I can say one word to them!!!"

Friend says,
"Your supposed to put the sock in the front of your pants you idiot!"

How many Australians does it take to change a lightbulb?










Only one because Aussies will screw anything!

How many Leeds fans does it take to change a lightbulb.

Both of them.

How many Star Trek fans does it take to change a light bulb ?





2!

One to change the bulb and another to say "Well it's alright, but its nowhere near as good as the original".

A man walks into a bar....

OUCH!

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants.
The bartender says,"what's the wheel for?"
THe pirate replies, "YARRRRRRRRRRRRRR it drives me nuts!!"