Re: BLONDE JOKES (Sorry Blonde)

**Caged_Faraday** · by **Caged_Faraday** on Mon Jun 30, 2008 6:59 pm

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful. How much did you spend?'

To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.

So I just switched the heads.'

tracker · by tracker on Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:09 pm

I feel so ashamed that I laughed at that.

MyStarbuckHatesLost · by MyStarbuckHatesLost on Mon Jun 30, 2008 7:56 pm

Caged, you are gong to hell for that one...save me a seat near the window please.

**Caged_Faraday** · by **Caged_Faraday** on Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:08 pm

I've often been heard to say "We're all going to hell; I'm driving the bus."

I'm glad I'm going to hell... all my friends will be there.

AngeloComet · by AngeloComet on Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:34 pm

Great joke, CF. That's going to star at the next dinner party my fiancee decides to stage. . .

Lateralus · by Lateralus on Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:36 pm

A blonde, A brunette and A Redhead decide to rob a store. So they get ready and they work out a plan. Well the go in the store and go up to register and tell the clerk to put the money in the bag. Well just then the cops show so they all decide to hide. So the brunette goes and jumps in a bin of stuffed dogs. The redhead jumps in a bin of stuffed kittens. The blonde jumps in a sack of potatos. Well the cops are in the store and their looking around and the cop walks up to the bin of stuffed dogs and kicks it.The brunette goes" Ruff Ruff" the cop moves on. He goes to bin of stuffed cats and kicks it. The redhead goes "Meow Meow" the cop moves on. Then he goes up to the sackof potatos and kicks it. The blonde goes "Potato Potato"

Lateralus · by Lateralus on Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:38 pm

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked.
"Yes, " the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.
"And by the way, " the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

**Caged_Faraday** · by **Caged_Faraday** on Mon Jun 30, 2008 8:49 pm

Love that second one, Lat.

MyStarbuckHatesLost · by MyStarbuckHatesLost on Mon Jun 30, 2008 9:33 pm

What does a blonde say after sex?
"So do all you guys play for the same team?"

chirpey1987 · by chirpey1987 on Wed Jul 02, 2008 7:31 pm

MyStarbuckHatesLost wrote:What does a blonde say after sex?
"So do all you guys play for the same team?"

eeerrggh lol

Alaina · by Alaina on Fri Jul 25, 2008 1:13 pm

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan Officer.
She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to
borrow $5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for
The loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank.
She has the Title, and everything checks out.
The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at
The blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 Loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz
into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns. She repays the $5,000
and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, 'Miss, we are very happy to have had
your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and
found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?'
The blonde rep lies, 'Where else in New York City can I
park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there
when I return?'

Finally, a smart blonde joke.

blonde · by blonde on Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:17 pm

Yeah Alaina!!! I love it. Can we lock the thread on this note SBP?

Alaina · by Alaina on Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:55 am

I put that on here just for you

blonde · by blonde on Thu Jul 31, 2008 2:43 am

Awwwwww. You are a love!!!!! Thanks. I have your back next time Smile

John_Vee · by John_Vee on Tue Aug 26, 2008 2:59 pm

What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
Spot