THe Speeder

Stopping the Speeder


A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is

(It was valid).

Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card

(the driver owned it)

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but I can assure you there's no gun in it

(Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box).

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: A WHAT??? Good heavens, I hope not!!!

(Trunk is opened - no body).

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: - Yeah, I'll bet the lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding, too.

haha yea I knew that one haha it owns

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on
his cell phone and in a worried voice says, ''Herman, be careful! I
just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way
on Route 280!'' Herman says, ''I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!''