R.I.P. George Carlin

George Carlin. 1937-2008

I'm really gonna miss this man.

He was definitley one of a kind. Thanks for making us think George. God's speed.

::sigh::

He was one of the only voices of reason left....

::sad panda::

I got a text yesterday reminding me to use the 7 words you can't say on TV... let's see... *edit*, *edit*, *edit*, *edit*, *edit*, *edit*, and *edit*.

Hmm... well, if you're old enough to remember, it was funny.

I grew up reciting Carlin material with my friends. I saw him last year in Charleston. He was funny but seemed to have lost a few feet off his fastball. But then again, haven't we all?

Here are some Funny George Carlin jokes and quotations:


Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow sign

Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?


Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

If you ate [color:703a=#3333ff! important][color:703a=#3333ff! important]pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S” in it?

Why are hemorrhoids called “hemorrhoids” instead of “assteroids”?

Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Where are we going? And what’s with this hand?

If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole damn airplane made out of that shit?

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

I’m in shape. Round is a shape.

I’m desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

Ever notice when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

Rest in Peace George.

So was this guy a comedian. Sorry guys I guess I'm just not old enough to remember him.

Tracker - Some of those sounded like Steven Wright jokes, I guess he got a few of those from George Carlin.

He was a bit before your time. He was THE MAN in his day.