Non-Sequitur War!

Indigestion sucks big time, but I never quite figured out why my cat wears eyeliner

Eyeliner? That reminds me that I left the iron on.

The Iron is irrellevant, but I am already in my football kit.

What you call football, we call soccer - and that's because Pinocchio is now a real boy.

Pinocchio is a filthy liar, which brings me back to that letter I forgot to post on Tuesday.

Thats extremley insulting Mr Lat, which brings me to my next point about the delightful cheeseburgers you gave me next week.

Ah yes, the Mad Cow meat at the Stuart Little party commitee was covered in post-its.

I have been trying to use post-it-notes to get organized, but I can not get over my fear of heights

Heights are just one measure of a person I prefer to use a little mermaid

My daughter loved the little mermaid so we bought our neighbor a pony.

Buying a pony , is why I am startled by the sounds of thunder.

thunder usually means rain, so I put on my dancing shoes

shoes are good only when they add polish to the crystal glasses

Every time I get out my crystal I win a 10 day cruise...

Cruise and Holmes makes the rings of Saturn glow

The new Saturn SUV is a great deal, just make sure you don't forget to pick up some sugar on the way home.

Sugar is a fine thing to have,and Penguins can jump as high as six feet in the air.

Air is a good thing to have when you breath just like swimmers need a crane to fly with

Flying isn't that great, but now that I think about it the wall may need repainting.

Re: painting doesn't that make you want to build a bridge over Niagra falls

Niagara rhymes with Viagra, so we should all just eat more cake.

No, thats a filthy habbit, cake. In anycase the speakers don't work at all.

The speakers haven't worked since I blew my head gasket, which, incidently, is why I need to get a tub of cream cheese.

Ha! Every time someone around me is eating cream cheese, it makes me think of that time I was abducted by spacemen.